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Eternity – Infinity

About the Author:

Hans Neukomm is a born farmer son and creator of the Cyberspace Ashram for Kriya Yoga, God and Love. All teachings of love are available for FREE instant download including God’s teachings of Love.

Understand the meaning of eternity as a life span and infinity as a living room

God is eternal so are we – have you ever thought about what that means to you – living eternally ? Where do you want to live eternally and how do you want to live eternally ??

Are you always making the right decisions to achieve your very eternal goal or at least are you approaching this goal more or less directly ?

God and God’s entire creation is infinite – since we are his children and are made to his image – it means that all of us is infinite as well, including our divine potential to All is infinite

  • our potential to learn
  • our potential of creativity
  • our potential to love in an infinite number of different ways and with infinite power and strength of our Divine innermost being of our soul
  • our potential of making experiences – including painful experiences often called “mistakes” is infinite
  • the velocity – speed – to learn and spiritually grow is potentially infinite – we can learn extremely slowly or extremely fast – it all is up to us !!
  • the potential number of places to incarnate is infinite as well as the number of different spiritual locations – levels of spiritual development and achievement is infinite
  • the number of paths to God is potentially infinite as well as the opportunities to get lost – at least for a part of eternity – within the many locations and universes our ego is capable to create and support – is infinite !!!!!!!
  • how much or how little is part of eternity ??
  • be aware that you have a real and absolute goal in your life pointing to a point far beyond the present incarnation. Be sure you know how easy it is to lose orientation without a compass in the middle of desert. Mankind on earth is like in the middle of desert and most of the present population has lost the orientation in life.

If true divine Love is what you are aiming at – then you surely have a solid orientation and you never can really get lost – except for a few days or weeks in weird situations – if you temporary lose your orientation and get absorbed by fear or worries or anger for a very brief period.

Please learn to orient yourself in Love toward development of ever expanding Love – remember Love is eternal and infinite – the development of Love never ends – it goes on and on eternally.

If you are mathematically inclined – at least a little – then you can imagine a ray starting at one point and going into infinity – of any and all dimension !!! – like the spectrum of frequency that starts with ZERO Hertz and the frequency (vibration of human mind, body, consciousness, Love, ….) increases more and more – with absolutely no end into infinity – Love and all related manifestations of Love increase eternally and infinitely their frequency (vibration) !!!!!

When focusing in your daily life toward God – toward his infinite Divine Love – then you are tapping this very infinite source and connecting your own body, mind and soul with all pertaining manifestations to this very Divine source of all sources and of course your own body mind and soul will be filled and finally becomes one with this very Divine vibration of Divine Love until you ARE THIS VERY DIVINE LOVE in all your manifestations – infinitely and eternally !!

To make sure that YOUR remainder of eternity turns into a pleasure, Love and bliss you need to start to learn and continuously practice to control and direct your mind, your attention and focus toward Love – once you have achieved God-Union you are free for eternity to do whatever you love to do and whatever you want to do – until then you have to learn whatever separates you from your Divine destination.

If however you reject or refuse to consciously learn to love and direct your development toward Love – you may as well find yourself for millions and millions of years in a circle of incarnation into the physical plane or astral universes of infinite variety of ego, selfishness, aggression, …. . There is and always will be an infinite number of aggressive ways to live and an infinite number of loving ways to spend eternity. The choice always is yours.

Focus for a while – and repeat this again later on – on the meaning of eternity and infinity of human life, consciousness, awareness, being, potential and loving – it may help you to achieve a different inner attitude within your self or fine tune your present attitude to achieve your goals faster, smoother and more lovingly.

From the Cyberspace Ashram for Kriya Yoga, God and Love – download Spiritual lessons for life contained in the Spiritual Treasures. Available for FREE download.

More Bittorrent download sites for
Kriya_Yoga_Spiritual_Treasures.torrent

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Support the Spiritual Treasures file

The spiritual teachings previously published online at the Cyberspace Ashram /kriyayoga.com have helped me totally rearrange my life in the most loving way.  I feel more strong and free.  I am more confident that my life choices help to ease the suffering of others.  In an effort to support the teachings and help other people to easily find them, I will be using this blog and my older myspace blog (http://www.myspace.com/rogergietzen) to repost articles written by Hans Neukomm, the author of the Cyberspace Ashram.  The links in these articles help to increase visibility and ranking of the grave site of these teachings.  The grave site contains directions to obtain the offline teachings the Spiritual Treasures and the Spiritual Treasure Bonus files.  This SEO work will improve the chances that people searching for the spiritual teachings, will find them.

If anyone wishes to help with this work, it is very simple.  First go to the following websites:

Then find an article you like, highlight the text and copy it.  Simply paste it into a new post on your own blog.  If you wish to include some photos, right click over the photo and choose “save image as”, select a location on your computer and download it.  Then upload the photo from your computer into your blog post.  Most importantly, make sure all the hyperlinks are correct and properly functioning in your new post.  It is these links which help improve the ranking of the Cyberspace Ashram and hence the visibility of the Spiritual Treasures.
To see a live example, view my previous post here on this blog titled “Love – either feel love or there is no love” and compare it to the original article published here:  http://kriyayogagodandlove.tumblr.com/.
God Bless
Old Woman Bay Lake Superior

Old Woman Bay Lake Superior

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Love – either you feel love or there is no love

Love – either you feel love or there is no love

OR
you are completely closed/blocked for love offered to you and first need someone to fix/heal your hear by breaking your heart open!

To be touched by love is like to be touched by water – beyond doubt you can feel love as much as you can feel to be wet from water. If there is doubt then there is no love. If there is love then you should enjoy love, absorb love and let that love heal you and free you.

Love is as material as water or sunshine. Love is energy comparable to sun-rays. Invisible but perceptible by your heart and soul.

Provided that you are open and sensitive to feel love – there is an absolute rule:

Sparkling love emanates from a loving heart and radiates into all hearts open for love

If there is love – then you need to be able to feel that love. If you feel no love then there IS NO love. Love never can be experienced by your brain or intellect. Hence to feel and to perceive true love you need to switch OFF your brain and open your heart.

Most mortal humans have a love weak like a candle light. Hence in most relationships love only can be felt if the lovers are within a few meters from each other and if there is no one intercepting that love relationship or disturbing your peace of mind.

Jealousy and envy often cause even your “best friends” or even your parents to intervene in your attempts to fall in love. Jealous or envious people want you to stay with them rather than to find your own love – hence they try to separate you from any potential lover by disturbing the small flame of mortal love until your heart is poisoned.

Love is fragile here on earth. Most people are too weak to understand the ego game by friends or relatives until it is too late and a potential romantic love is shattered into pieces by poison of jealousy and envy.

Focus on love and if you feel love then fight for your love, fight for your happiness. Stand up against all who want to separate you or intervene. Make freedom in your life, create free hours and create peaceful days far away from all disturbing business life. Create your honeymoon situation in your daily life and take the time to strengthen the flow of true love between 2 lovers. Create a bond of love strong enough to withstand all hurricanes of normal life and keep God as your Godfather to protect your relationship while here on earth.

Love is fragile like a baby – but love needs to grow strong to withstand and survive all Taifuns of business life, political life, jealous friends and parents as well as all black magic still existing on this planet and beyond.

Lovers belong together all life long. Both lovers need to grow strong in their love and in their loyalty for each other and for their mutual love for all creation and God above all. Hence loves need to share their life day by day to experience together all life. Only shared life, only shared experiences join you more and more in your hearts while experiences lived separately tend to separate you from each other. Lovers are made to have a common interest even in their jobs and thus to have a family business – small but loving – to enjoy all life together as eternal lovers.

As soon as lovers are apart by hundreds of even thousands of kilometers – then usually the flow of love no longer can be felt by mortal humans and hence separation starts. Separation in body soon leads to separation in heart and soul. The poison of jealousy and envy around most people will kill most love relationships sooner or later. True friends who help to keep you together or even help you to get closer are rare like thousand carate diamonds.

The only one to care really for you and to help you to stay together or to get closer together is God. To enjoy God’s bliss a relationship needs to be rooted in God by both lovers – else God has no means to protect you and to heal and enhance your love relationship.

Soon is Christmas time – now is time to prepare your love environment by loving all around you, by opening the heart of all around you, by forgiving and asking forgiveness from/to all. Then during the final weeks or months before Holy night it is time again to recreate miracles of love and rejoin what mankind has separated.

Your future starts today – here and now. Your next Christmas starts today. A human heart and human love are like a garden. If love shall blossom then you need to prepare your heart and the heart of all others around you as well. The mere Christmas weeks are no time for clean up of hearts and preparation of hearts. Christmas is to love and to join your heart and soul with God and all your loved ones. Final preparation for Christmas is done NOW – these very weeks.

Learn Kriya Yoga to feel God’s Lovefrom the Cyberspace Ashram for Kriya Yoga, God and Love. Complete teachings of love of love for free instant download by btttorrent.

Hearts and Red Roses

Hearts and Red Roses

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Spiritual Guidance in a Dream

As described in my last blog posts, I have been more sensitive to my surroundings recently. With this new increase flow of “energy”, I also need to be more careful. If I let myself think about the day to day events that impact me, then I can become overwhelmed very quickly. For example, if I’m still having thoughts and emotions cycle through my mind about a problematic patient, then I cannot absorb the stress my kids create as well. I’m more likely to be reactive and non loving towards them. My remedy for this has been to stay present with my surroundings with a loving attitude and open for God. Other very important practices for helping me “let go”, include my daily kriya yoga and spending some meditative time in nature.

I received some spiritual guidance to aid me with this increased sensitivity and energy. It came in the form of a vivid dream. It was located at my childhood house. The surroundings were very open and natural, with rolling hills and tall mature trees. I could see for miles. There was a very intense longing for freedom in this dream and I remember weeping as I confessed to a friend about how much I wished to be free.

Shortly after this, I was sitting alone in a chair in my childhood bedroom. The room was clean and empty. I was talking to my Guru, Hans. I don’t recall the details of the conversation, but I did notice that it was occurring even though there was no phone or skype or person around. I realized the exchange was occurring on a spiritual level and at that moment, I decided to turn my “love light” on. When I refer to my “love light”, I mean the ability to show appreciation without using words or body language. Its something that can be felt and speaks for itself. Its a capability that has been missing for a couple years since my Christmas eve 2008 experience “wore off”. But fortunately I’ve been regaining control of it lately.

In this dream, immediately after showing appreciation spiritually, my body was struck by lightening. I felt the impact like a shock wave throughout my body. Because this occurred while communicating with my Guru in a loving way, I knew that it was a good thing. Next, I learned if I fully relaxed my body, the shock was pleasurable. The way I relaxed my body, is difficult to describe in words, but I “got it” immediately through this dream state. The best way I can describe it is to say that by focusing on the top of my head, my thoughts went quiet and my whole body surrendered, starting from the top down. It almost felt like I was shedding a layer, or splitting open. In this state, I could feel that the shock of the lightening impact got absorbed and flowed right through me. It felt so good. The dream was so vivid, that I’ve been able to recall how to “relax” like that during my wakeful hours. It helps me let go of things better and connect with my surroundings.

About a week after this dream, I was talking to Hans on skype. He started the conversation by asking if I knew how a lightening rod worked on a building. I said yes. He then said, with your increasing sensitivities, you need to learn to be like a lightening rod and let energy pass through you. I said, boy that’s funny you mention that… I just had a dream that showed me exactly what you mean. Hans reminded me that what I do in my dreams, is just as important as what I learn during the day. After that experience, I can see how learning in the dream state is much more clear, then trying to learn the same thing with words.

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Sensing the Presence of Others

Almost everyday after work I walk through a large park to dissolve the stress of the day. Lately it has been dark and cold while I walk, and I am usually the only person in the entire park. I just had a new experience during this routine. I was about half way through my stroll. My mind had started to still, and I was becoming more aware of my felt state. I had stopped near a stream and was enjoying the hypnotic sounds of the babbling brook. All was still and quiet. Suddenly I had the strong sensation that someone was behind me. I felt a small wave of fear. I decided to just surrender to the feeling of the fear and let go of the urge to turn and look. After several minutes I was able to fully relax into the fear and it dissolved.

At this point I decided to finally turn and look behind me. Sure enough, I had an observer. A beautiful black and white cat was sitting and quietly starring right at me! We exchanged a moment and then went our separate ways.

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Sensing Other’s Thoughts & Feelings

I recently had a new experience. I had a brief awareness of another person’s thoughts and feelings. Over the last several years, I have become more sensitive to my surroundings. Life has been more intense and my moods stronger. Certain people and situations tend to bring out specific attitudes and emotions within me. I have always wondered whether it was their vibe I was feeling or my own. Ultimately I decided it just didn’t matter. In either case I act the same. I choose to behave in the most loving way and I choose to be with whatever feelings arise in me. My best guess was that the vibe was shared. Those people and situations irritated me because deep down they reminded me of a part of myself which I have not yet reconciled.

A recent experience helped me to clarify this question. During this event, instead of wondering where the vibe was coming from, I instantly knew that it was another person’s. This instant knowing was not based on a process of deduction. But, when I did analyze the situation, it supported my instant intuition. For example, the situation occurred at a time in which my mind was very peaceful and quiet. I was very connected with my surroundings and open for God. I was sitting in a train, in this wakeful yet meditative state when a young woman walked by me. There was nothing about her behaviors that drew my attention. She looked like any other passenger. I did not find her appearance necessarily attractive nor did our eyes meet. Yet, the moment she walked by I was impacted by a strong sexual energy in my lower body. There was also a brief flurry of sexual imagery that filled my mind. I felt no sense of identification with those thoughts or feelings. In that open, relaxed state this energy just passed right through me. The thoughts and feelings were gone as quickly as they appeared. I immediately realized that she was full of suppressed sexual energy and fantasies. I had sensed it. I occasionally have my own sexual energy and thoughts, but it was very clear to me on later reflection that this was a totally different experience.

I am grateful for this experience. Even though this capability did not last, I know that the potential exists within me. I can also see how this capability will help me alleviate the suffering of others. The open and peaceful state that allowed this to happen was the result of 24/7 holistic efforts in my life to improve the quality of my love. I can see how what I do at work, at home, during travel and recreation all impacts my ability to help people when the opportunity arises. This experience has motivated me to be even more firm and gentle on my spiritual path of love. God bless.

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Happenings with Kriya Meditation

When I first started the practice of kriya yoga, I had very little meditation experience. I wondered how I would manage the extended hours of meditation which are part of my spiritual path. I also wondered what to expect during my kriya meditations. I imagined that I would be filled with the loving Presence that graced my life during Christmas time in 2008. Before I go into detail about my meditation experiences, its very important to state that kriya yoga only produces results when one has arranged their life in a loving way. The most obvious benefits of my meditation, have been its effect on my every day life. In fact, sometimes my meditation maybe very uncomfortable, yet my day flows in a loving way.

Now that I have been practicing kriya for several years, I can see how valuable it is. I have seen some challenging times come and go. I have found that as long as I gently increase the amount of time I meditate, as described in the diskha page of the Cyberspace Ashram, that the long meditations are totally doable. For example, now I meditate about 6 hours daily, and have done up to 12 hours in one sitting. To be honest, its not always easy. Occasionally it takes all my might to stay in the meditation, because sometimes I’m filled with a HIGH level of anxious or disturbing energy. That energy is determined by my day to day stressors, not by the length of the meditation. In fact, it seemed to happen more often early in my spiritual path, then it does now. Now that I recognize how I create my own turmoil, and change those things, I experience more peaceful meditations. In my experience, the longer I meditate, the easier it gets. Each time I increase the amount of time, at first its easy because I’m excited about its potential effects. When that excitement wears off, I usually also go through a phase where it is difficult to maintain the new longer hours. Eventually I don’t care either way and the new change, becomes normal.

Although, I often experience the loving Presence during or immediately after my meditation. There are many days, where I experience a LOW level of mental, physical or emotional discomfort. Mental discomfort presents as a busy mind that keeps distracting me. Physical discomfort usually presents as a restless body that wants to move. And emotional discomfort presents as any non-loving energy. These all occur during times of stress, usually related to unsolved problems or too much busyness. It was very frustrating at first to experience an entire mediation filled with turmoil. I thought I must not be focusing good enough. But over time I realized that I WAS putting forth my best effort during those meditations. Some days my best effort resulted in a great loving energy and other days it resulted in a state of discomfort. As I realized that, my uncomfortable mediations improved. I could observe the discomfort without punishing myself for its presence. I also could see that those meditations were very important because they allowed me to dissolve a discomfort that would otherwise generate turmoil during my day.  And sometimes I would see clearly the cause of that disturbance.

One specific non-loving energy that I often experience during my meditations is sleepiness. I will enter a semi-dream state, where part of me is still sitting there meditating, but my mind is busy dreaming just like I do in sleep. In the past, when I felt tired like this, I thought that only sleep would restore my energy. I was very surprised to find that this energy can pass on its own, right in the middle of a meditation. After meditating for awhile, I may suddenly “wake up”. Full energy returns to my awareness, and I’m able to focus all that energy on the kriya. I look forward to this occurrence, because I know that I have dissolved a dense vibration and I am returning to balance. These meditations are always followed by a high vibration, peaceful energy. And my whole day goes smoother. I was not able to burn through this sleepy energy regularly until I was doing at least 3-4 hours of kriya per day. It was shortly after this point, that I started to be graced by a spiritual presence more and more. I was able to see exactly how my meditations and other spiritual practices (light shower and God Yoga) were benefiting me. And I could also FEEL when I needed to stop running around and just sit and perform some spiritual practices. This was very useful for me, because I tend to feel guilty if I am not fully busy all the time. I tend to err on the side of action. This new capability allowed me to sit and relax without guilt.

At this point, I would like to mention some random experiences that have occurred during my mediations. Right from the start, I experienced occasional “zingers” in my throat. By zinger, I mean an intense, brief burning energy near my voice box. Over time I was able to absorb that energy better and better. When I do, it spreads into my whole being and helps anchor me in the present moment. It is usually followed by an excretion of mucous in my throat and tearing in my eyes. There is a strong desire to swallow, that I just observe as long as possible, until the mucous secretions really need to be cleared.

At other times my mouth produces excessive saliva. I feel an irrational sense of suffocation and an urge to swallow. I also just observe the saliva and the anxious energy until my mouth is truly full of saliva. Eventually this happening goes away.

Awareness of my chakras has improved over time. Initially, to maintain concentration, I noticed that my eyes seemed to move with each change of my focus. There was also a tendency to pause my breathing with my kriya. I also had to almost constantly use mental affirmations to keep my mind focused on the meditation in a loving way. In the beginning, there was also an inner movement or rocking sensation that rocked to the “keep the beat” of my meditation. Now, I find I can focus with my eyes still and my awareness detached from my breathing. I can also calm this inner rocking sensation and still feel the chakras and maintain my timing. At times when I a very open for God, it doesn’t even seem that I am moving with the focus of my meditation. Instead I am with a still Presence that is observing the meditation moving through me. Often the improvement in capabilities occurred after I achieved a spiritual goal AND after I prayed directly to God for guidance.

Achieving the full lotus position during the first 45 minutes of my meditation also helped my kriya yoga progress this summer. Initially I could only maintain the full lotus for a couple minutes due to the intense discomfort it produced. Over time I could last longer and that intensity shifted from discomfort to a warm loving Presence. God has shown me that I am capable of dissolving my own discomfort by simply opening to his loving Presence and relaxing.

The most recent “happening” in my meditation has been a freeing of energy through my throat chakra. This has always been an area of blockage. Lately I started to feel it soften up. When it did, I also noticed my neck would move involuntarily during meditation. I would find myself flexing my neck forward, to the side or backwards. It would take work to resist the movement, so I just let it happen. My neck may stay in this awkward position for awhile (30 minutes or more) and then suddenly release and spring up or rotate around to a new position. The first time this occurred I decided to keep meditating until my neck naturally straightened up again. It took hours, but what I experienced was beautiful. When my neck finally straightened up, it did so effortlessly. My head felt weightless! I also experienced a cold, soothing, energy around the base of my neck. I realized that my awareness had to be focused entirely on the energetic Presence around me. If I focused too much on my neck, then I’d lose the effortless posture and have to hold my head up on my own. When I’m aware of the energetic Presence and my body stands tall on its own, it seems that levitation is a real possibility. It seems that my body is defying the laws of gravity.

I am thankful for the progress with my kriya yoga. There were many long times when I diligently practiced without any obvious rewards. There still are many nights and very early mornings where I have to use all my discipline to meditate.  Or times that I wake up meditating because I am so tired. Yet deep down, I know that these times are the most important times. As my will power grows to maintain my kriya practices, I can also see that it is easier and easier to maintain a loving attitude through out the ups and downs of my life. I can see that it is possible to love all beings and all situations. And I can feel that this love occurs as I open for God. It is obvious that all my goals are clearly pointing towards one thing… being with God. OMMMMMMMM:)

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Christmas Preparation 2011

The Christmas season is very important to me.  If I wish to experience the loving presence that graced me in 2008, I know that I need to put forth full efforts to improve my attitude and lifestyle all year round.  There are many life changes that I’ve made this past year as part of my Christmas preparation:

1.  Stopping and Noticing;  I have forced myself to slow down and notice my surroundings.  When I shower, drive, eat, walk, listen or shop, I often feel an intense “sense of urgency”.  I have learned to slow down in spite of that driving force connect and with my surroundings.  After repeatedly applying this technique, I have started to enjoy my shower, my drive and my meal more.  I also recognize the needs of those around me more.  Many people just really need someone to fully listen to them, without judgement.  I learned that when someone really wants to talk to me, that is an opportunity for me to accept their love.  Other people just need someone to recognize that they are suffering and be there with them.  In these situations in the past, especially when working with patients, I used to feel discomfort while listening to them and think “I need to go back to working…I cannot wait for them to stop talking” and I would excuse myself.  Now I almost always let people keep talking until they have nothing further to say.  I notice that they are much happier and the next time I visit is much smoother since I have fully heard them and addressed all their concerns up front.  As I have slowed down, I have also noticed that I was bypassing many very needy people.  I was often worried about having enough time for my spiritual practices.  But I have discovered when I surrender to the needs of those around me, my spiritual practices have become easier and more adaptable.  For example, I can now meditate almost any time of day and my sleep demands have reduced by about 1-2 hours.

2.  Integrating with Nature;  I wish to some day be living integrated with nature.  To prepare for that dream I have made several changes in my life this year:

  • I started aerobic composting this year using kitchen waste and dry leaves.  As the year has gone on, the compost is getting better and transforming quicker.  Already I have used my first batch on my house plants and seen immediately amazing results.  I found Mike McGrath’s Book of Compost to be invaluable.
  • I also started a mixed organic veggie and flower garden this year (and I prepared gardens for a couple of my friends).  I started from seed and enjoyed many fresh flowers and foods this fall.  I am learning to organic farm in a garden using nature’s support.  I let the weeds grow and let the wild animals have access to the food.
  • I spent more time in nature than in 2010.  I went for many meditative walks after work.  I hugged many big trees.  I found this was very important for me and helped me to break free from some very uncomfortable emotional states.  I feel very safe and care free in nature and I can often keep this attitude when I return to work and my family.  I use nature to help prepare for my kriya yoga too.
  • I befriended bugs.  I have made an effort to look at, pick up and let all types of bugs be with me.  I have especially worked with bugs that I felt repulsed by, like earwigs.  Also on my nature walks, when I am in a meditative state, I let mosquitoes and flies bite me.  I remembered Yogananda mentioning this in the Autobiography of a Yogi.  Initially there is an intense anger in me from the pain that results, but then suddenly the pain and the anger dissolve and my body relaxes.  I choose to surrender and each time that I practice this, the bug bites bother me less and less.  In fact, after one intense session I was graced by the most intense loving presence for the rest of the walk.
  • I cleaned up my local park.  In the spring of 2011, I brought a couple plastic bags every time I visited a local park and filled them with trash.
  • I started feeding the animals around my home with bird seed and produce.
  • I planted a pear tree and some flowers at a scenic resting point on one of my favorite trails, as part of my annual blessing ceremony.

3.  Saying Yes;  I noticed more and more places to say YES.  I say yes to my kids more, even when every bone in my body wants to rest or be left alone.  I say yes to my friends more, even when my mind says “that won’t be any fun”.  I say yes to my employer more, even when I know it will add hours of more work in my day.  I say yes more because after a day of saying yes, eventually all my work is done and my mind and body fully relax.  I can then really enjoy peace, knowing I’ve done my best.

4.  Saying No Sometimes;  I have had to say NO sometimes when it was REALLY hard to.  I realized that some things I was doing only out of guilt, not out of love.  For example, instead of being more available for my kids personally, I was substituting by giving more money to their mother.  I was scared to stop doing this, because my ex-wife and I were finally friends.  But I realized our relationship was still dysfunctional because it depended on me giving money.  I finally moved closer to my kids (and farther from a friend of mine, who I had become attached to).  Once doing this, I stopped paying extra money.  Of course my ex-wife was made, but eventually she befriended me again and our relationship is much healthier than it has ever been (but there is still much work for me to do).  I also had become accustomed to talking to my good friend for 1-2 hours every night.  Initially this was a resource because we shared our days’ experiences and learned from each other at a time when there was little spiritual connection.  But as I my spiritual awareness grew, I became more aware of my ego and I could see that this was mostly an ego based activity.  It was very hard to say no to those nightly calls because I knew it would really hurt my friend’s feelings.  But I did and we have both grown closer to God from the separation that occurred.

5.  More Kriya;  Until the spring of 2011, I had forgotten my plan to steadily increase my kriya yoga after my first year of “warming up”.  In the spring of 2011, I remembered that plan and had a melting of some resistance to meditating.  I could suddenly see how my ability to let go of thinking and instead feel love in meditation, was allowing me to feel more love through out my day to day interactions.  I increased from 3 hours daily, to 4 hours about 2/3 of the time and 6 hours 1/3 of the time.  In October, I increased to 6 hours most days.

6.  More Random Acts of Kindness;  Inspired by the “I love you exercises”, I melted more and more egos in my life.  I started working at a free clinic.  I always bring flowers and give them to my patients.  I started humanitarian work, helping to repair homes for homeless people who are in the process of changing their lives.  I’ve given flowers, plants, food and money to complete strangers.  I connect those who are spiritually ripe to any resource they are willing to take (books, websites, movies).  I have started making more and more fresh organic food and for Thanks Giving I brought it to the hospital to share.

7.  Shrunk My Carbon Footprint;  I traveled much less in 2011, by choosing a job closer to home.  I also moved closer to my children, to reduce the driving time (and increase my availability to them).  I bike and walk more, drive less.  I recycle my kitchen waste (in the compost as mentioned above).  Next month I have made arrangements to start to take a train on my monthly commute to work.

8.  Reduced My Debt;  In 2011, I satisfied all my divorce expenses.  I recently paid off all my student loans.  I also met with the bank which I owe a large amount of money for my previous home, which sold for much less then it cost me to build.  I agreed on a payback settlement over three years, but I hope to be able to accomplish this in one year.

9.  Redefined My Job;  I have worked hard to develop the tools and skills needed to eventually be a spiritual doctor.  In 2011, I updated a paper that helps me bridge what I know spiritually with what I have learned medically.  I have also gained other skills while working as a neurologist to ease my transition into my future career.  As a spiritual doctor, I will be dealing with some of the most needy and intensely suffering people.  I now spend more time counseling my patients.  When in the hospital I go straight to the most intense situations and have significantly improved my ability to relieve tension for all those involved.  Every month my confidence grows that I can handle more and more challenging patients.

10.  I love my Guru even MORE;  during 2011, my Guru became more available for guidance through a private FB group (available to any serious God seeker, see the public FB Cyberspace Ashram).  I also have started re-reading the Cyberspace Ashram spiritual teachings again and applying the principles even more deeply.  I downloaded the free Cyberspace Ashram toolbar, which has made it easier to surf the website and stay connected to the teachings.  My relationship with Hans has grown and my loving connection with God has also become directly palpable again.  I see more and more work to do in my life.  Yet it is becoming more and more clear where exactly to put my full efforts.  This was one of my very first intense prayers to God…”I am willing to do any work for you, just please show me where to put my efforts”.  I thank God for clarifying my perception and inspiring more loving action in my life.

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The Christmas Eve Experience

On Christmas Eve of 2008 an unexpected and life changing experience occurred. Prior to that, I had no real spiritual interests. Enormous amounts of energy had been focused on my medical career, a new family and a home. Despite having achieved all of those goals in 2008, something was missing. Instead of a sense of accomplishment, I was feeling trapped by my possessions and the complex lifestyle that was needed to keep them. Although I had many comforts in my life, I was unable to fully enjoy them. The disconnected state had become so familiar I had thought nothing of it, until the spring of 2008. It was then that I finally had some free time and noticed my inner discomfort. First I decided I needed to physically cleanse. I did the master cleanse lemonade diet. It helped. But something was still missing. Then, I was given a book by Eckhart Tolle that was spiritual in content, but written in a very neutral way. I resonated strongly with the message. I was convinced that if I wanted peace and satisfaction, I needed to slow down, and learn how to enjoy the here and now. I needed to simplify, reconcile and earn a sense of accomplishment through meaningful work.

Initially I looked for a “method”. I read many books. I eventually found the online spiritual teachings of the “Cyberspace Ashram for Kriya Yoga”. I must admit the repetitive use of the words “God” and “Love” and the presentation of this website seemed cheesy. But something about this set of teachings had me hooked. Something kept me coming back to read more. An energy was awakening within me. I continued to read and the teachings spoke directly to me. My body recognized the truth and the truth ushered in a growing sense of freedom. One of the major messages was law of karma. That “what we do to others is done to us (especially in our thoughts and fantasies)”. Another major message it that love is the essence of this existence and we can experience it regardless of our situation or past, as long as we learn to express it wholly, no matter what. It is the law of karma or “cause and effect” that is mentioned in virtually every spiritual teaching. Very few individuals fully recognize and act upon this important law (even many spiritual leaders), because the effect is delayed from the cause. We just cannot see it happening. As I saw the many ways in which my mental habits and lifestyle were causing suffering, I quickly began to change my intentions and behaviors.

For example, although I worked hard for my family’s happiness, I did not notice the needs of many other people around me. I was constantly being driven by a “sense of urgency” through out my day, unable to stop and really soak in my surroundings. Even though I acted like a relaxed guy (and truly thought I was), my vibe spread tension to all those I met. Despite working hard to make my family happy, I couldn’t truly appreciate them or make them directly happy because of this tension.

I identified another major personal issue. I couldn’t tolerate mistakes well. With my wife and family this manifested as an inability to let them learn and do things on their own. We cannot learn without making mistakes. I always knew “the best” way to do it and tried to make my family happy by doing everything for them. This was exhausting for me and dis-empowering for them. I stole opportunities for them to become strong members of the family, because I could not watch them fail without getting frustrated. Nor could they fail without feeling like a failure.

By 12/23/08, I realized that deep changes needed to occur in my life if I was sincere about following the spiritual path laid out in the cyberspace ashram. It is an all or none venture, requiring that I make major life and attitude changes if I wish to truly succeed. When I applied what I was learning to my patients, I realized that most of them were suffering… not primarily because of a physical disease, but because of a holistic problem with their lives. A holistic problem that manifested physically.

At that point, I knew that I was going to change my entire career and to down size my home and belongings. That night I couldn’t sleep, so I went and laid down in my children’s bed. While lying there, I fully committed to changing my life forever and knew that I needed to inform my wife of this… but it was 2am on 12/24. I couldn’t wake her up. Within seconds of making this strong commitment… she came and found me! She had awoken and noticed I wasn’t sleeping in bed. It was clear to me that this was an opportunity to break some very tough news to her, while the kids were asleep. I told her of my major change in life purpose and life plans at 2am Christmas eve 2008.

Over the next several days my entire family tried to persuade me to change my mind. The teachings did not speak to them, to the same depth that they did to me. Despite the turmoil created by this change, I felt safe. I was enveloped by the most powerful loving presence. My head and heart radiated an intense, yet soft, buzzing, energy. There was no need to defend my position or argue. Fighting just manifests more fighting experiences in ones life. I chose to love all my surroundings. Without warning, the behavior of people I interacted with changed. People I barely knew let down their guard to share major personal issues with me, some would cry. Children were magnetized to me and would just come in stare in my eyes or sit on my lap quietly. They just enjoyed the loving presence. My mind was quiet and my body was relaxed. I had all the time in the world. I was satisfied.

Serendipity popped up in every facet of my life. Just when I needed support, a high school friend called me “out of the blue” to see how I was doing. I had no idea exactly how I would make the major changes that were needed in my life, but guidance came from many people and many sources, just when I needed it. Whatever had happened to me eclipsed any experience I had ever had and is difficult to put in words. But I had a taste of something which we all really need and want. Now there is nothing in this physical world that attracts me, like the loving presence did.

The loving presence, radiated from me intensely for about 10 days. However, there were several circumstances were I found myself entering an aggressive mind set. Some behaviors were so habitual that despite a resolve to change, I had slipped back into them. After each incident, the loving presence waned. Over a couple months I lost complete connection with that loving energetic presence. I had received a taste of unconditional love, but now it was my responsibility to reconnect through my own efforts. My efforts have been slowly, but surely successful. I am driven by a desire to develop spiritually and this loving energetic presence continues to guide me and reconnect with me. I wish that all others may know this presence too, on whatever path they choose.

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Introduction to Roger’s Blog

I have created this blog as a means to share my spiritual path with others.  I hope that my experiences help others progress spiritually.  I first started a spiritual blog at this site:  http://www.myspace.com/rogergietzen.  Due to the improved features offered by the word press blog, I have decided to switch here for further posts.

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