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Annual Blessing Activities 2012

I recently repeated the annual blessing ceremony activities that I performed last year. I noticed some inner changes while preparing for them and carrying them out and would like to share them here. The three most notable activities performed, were planting fruit trees in a public place, feeding and giving money to a needy person and handing out flowers to random people. This year I performed them with a close friend, Tanya.

The first thing that was significantly different was a decrease in the amount of apprehensive thoughts leading up to the activities. Last year I noticed lots of worry about where, when and how to plant a pear tree. I also noticed lots of anxiety about whether it would survive. Although that tree lost some limbs this winter, it has survived! I noticed even more anxieties last year when preparing for helping the truly needy. I had to search out a place in inner city Detroit, which I was unfamiliar with. While approaching the truly needy people there, I noticed some doubts as to whether I was picking “the right” ones. And most interestingly, I noticed an intense discomfort last year after handing the care packages to the people I found. I had a hard time looking them in the eye, accepting their thanks and talking to them. I wanted to “exit” the situation as quickly as possible. I felt a similar vibe while handing out flowers. Last year I chose to do it on a bicycle with my kids. I realize now that enabled me to deal with that discomfort better. Having my kids made it easier for me to feel right doing this playful activity and the bike made for a quick “get away” after handing out the flowers. I also had a hard time finding a day last year where I felt genuinely loving enough to pass out the flowers.

This year, everything was different. The weeks leading up to these activities, I was much busier with my work and family responsibilities. I had almost no personal free time except for my spiritual practices. I had decided to do the activities in April, and my mind hardly spent anytime preparing for them. Although I have very little free time, a full free day became available just when I needed it. It happened to be during holy week at the same time Hans posted a reminder about the annual blessing ceremony on the Cyberspace Ashram facebook page. I started the day with Tanya by purchasing four fruit trees, two apples and two peaches. We found two different magical places to plant them, out in nature. We brought homemade compost and a bucket full of water. They looked super happy in their new homes.

Next we went to Detroit with six care packages full of food and money. The weather and timing was perfect and we found super grateful recipients for all of them in a matter of minutes. I felt sure as I approached each person, that they were meant to receive the help. I noticed a fraction of the inner discomfort that I had experienced the year before, and I was able to dissolve it in love then and there. As I completed the last “hand off”, I was started to notice an intense feeling of fear and paranoia. There was no visible reason for it and my thoughts were all loving. I had absorbed the energy from this harsh environment. It was so strong that when I hopped back in my car, it effected the car’s operation. My clutch became very sticky. I actually had to pull it off the floor with my foot after stepping on it. The engine nearly stalled every time I came to an idle. I went straight home and did about 3 hours of kriya. I felt much better afterwards. When I went to drive my car again, the clutch and idle were still problematic as I backed it out of the driveway. When I went to pull forward on the street, I felt a sudden release and the car drove normally again. Simultaneously, I felt a density around my head and neck region. It took about an hour for that dense vibe to dissolve from my body. I could see how that dense energy that I absorbed downtown was being transferred to and from my car, and absorbed by my presence.

That evening we took several dozen flowers to a local park. I again noticed some worry leading up to that activity about whether we would find enough recipients that late in the day. But this dissipated quickly. It was maybe 1/5 of the intensity that I had experienced in 2011. Sure enough the weather was perfect and we found enough people within 30 minutes to receive all the flowers. All but one, who reported he was allergic to flowers, accepted them gratefully. Men, women, elderly and young all were clearly brightened up by this brief exchange. After completing this year’s activities, I realize how much I enjoy the privilege of participating in them. My resistance to loving has dissolved or melts quickly these days. As opposed to these activities feeling like an obligation, it now is something I would love to do anytime. Love continues to flow from my meditations into all of my daily duties. And a light inside of me grows stronger every week. I can honestly say that I wish ALL, even those who cause intense conflict in my life, be blessed with happiness and love.

God Bless,

Roger

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