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Happenings with Kriya Meditation

on December 21, 2011

When I first started the practice of kriya yoga, I had very little meditation experience. I wondered how I would manage the extended hours of meditation which are part of my spiritual path. I also wondered what to expect during my kriya meditations. I imagined that I would be filled with the loving Presence that graced my life during Christmas time in 2008. Before I go into detail about my meditation experiences, its very important to state that kriya yoga only produces results when one has arranged their life in a loving way. The most obvious benefits of my meditation, have been its effect on my every day life. In fact, sometimes my meditation maybe very uncomfortable, yet my day flows in a loving way.

Now that I have been practicing kriya for several years, I can see how valuable it is. I have seen some challenging times come and go. I have found that as long as I gently increase the amount of time I meditate, as described in the diskha page of the Cyberspace Ashram, that the long meditations are totally doable. For example, now I meditate about 6 hours daily, and have done up to 12 hours in one sitting. To be honest, its not always easy. Occasionally it takes all my might to stay in the meditation, because sometimes I’m filled with a HIGH level of anxious or disturbing energy. That energy is determined by my day to day stressors, not by the length of the meditation. In fact, it seemed to happen more often early in my spiritual path, then it does now. Now that I recognize how I create my own turmoil, and change those things, I experience more peaceful meditations. In my experience, the longer I meditate, the easier it gets. Each time I increase the amount of time, at first its easy because I’m excited about its potential effects. When that excitement wears off, I usually also go through a phase where it is difficult to maintain the new longer hours. Eventually I don’t care either way and the new change, becomes normal.

Although, I often experience the loving Presence during or immediately after my meditation. There are many days, where I experience a LOW level of mental, physical or emotional discomfort. Mental discomfort presents as a busy mind that keeps distracting me. Physical discomfort usually presents as a restless body that wants to move. And emotional discomfort presents as any non-loving energy. These all occur during times of stress, usually related to unsolved problems or too much busyness. It was very frustrating at first to experience an entire mediation filled with turmoil. I thought I must not be focusing good enough. But over time I realized that I WAS putting forth my best effort during those meditations. Some days my best effort resulted in a great loving energy and other days it resulted in a state of discomfort. As I realized that, my uncomfortable mediations improved. I could observe the discomfort without punishing myself for its presence. I also could see that those meditations were very important because they allowed me to dissolve a discomfort that would otherwise generate turmoil during my day.  And sometimes I would see clearly the cause of that disturbance.

One specific non-loving energy that I often experience during my meditations is sleepiness. I will enter a semi-dream state, where part of me is still sitting there meditating, but my mind is busy dreaming just like I do in sleep. In the past, when I felt tired like this, I thought that only sleep would restore my energy. I was very surprised to find that this energy can pass on its own, right in the middle of a meditation. After meditating for awhile, I may suddenly “wake up”. Full energy returns to my awareness, and I’m able to focus all that energy on the kriya. I look forward to this occurrence, because I know that I have dissolved a dense vibration and I am returning to balance. These meditations are always followed by a high vibration, peaceful energy. And my whole day goes smoother. I was not able to burn through this sleepy energy regularly until I was doing at least 3-4 hours of kriya per day. It was shortly after this point, that I started to be graced by a spiritual presence more and more. I was able to see exactly how my meditations and other spiritual practices (light shower and God Yoga) were benefiting me. And I could also FEEL when I needed to stop running around and just sit and perform some spiritual practices. This was very useful for me, because I tend to feel guilty if I am not fully busy all the time. I tend to err on the side of action. This new capability allowed me to sit and relax without guilt.

At this point, I would like to mention some random experiences that have occurred during my mediations. Right from the start, I experienced occasional “zingers” in my throat. By zinger, I mean an intense, brief burning energy near my voice box. Over time I was able to absorb that energy better and better. When I do, it spreads into my whole being and helps anchor me in the present moment. It is usually followed by an excretion of mucous in my throat and tearing in my eyes. There is a strong desire to swallow, that I just observe as long as possible, until the mucous secretions really need to be cleared.

At other times my mouth produces excessive saliva. I feel an irrational sense of suffocation and an urge to swallow. I also just observe the saliva and the anxious energy until my mouth is truly full of saliva. Eventually this happening goes away.

Awareness of my chakras has improved over time. Initially, to maintain concentration, I noticed that my eyes seemed to move with each change of my focus. There was also a tendency to pause my breathing with my kriya. I also had to almost constantly use mental affirmations to keep my mind focused on the meditation in a loving way. In the beginning, there was also an inner movement or rocking sensation that rocked to the “keep the beat” of my meditation. Now, I find I can focus with my eyes still and my awareness detached from my breathing. I can also calm this inner rocking sensation and still feel the chakras and maintain my timing. At times when I a very open for God, it doesn’t even seem that I am moving with the focus of my meditation. Instead I am with a still Presence that is observing the meditation moving through me. Often the improvement in capabilities occurred after I achieved a spiritual goal AND after I prayed directly to God for guidance.

Achieving the full lotus position during the first 45 minutes of my meditation also helped my kriya yoga progress this summer. Initially I could only maintain the full lotus for a couple minutes due to the intense discomfort it produced. Over time I could last longer and that intensity shifted from discomfort to a warm loving Presence. God has shown me that I am capable of dissolving my own discomfort by simply opening to his loving Presence and relaxing.

The most recent “happening” in my meditation has been a freeing of energy through my throat chakra. This has always been an area of blockage. Lately I started to feel it soften up. When it did, I also noticed my neck would move involuntarily during meditation. I would find myself flexing my neck forward, to the side or backwards. It would take work to resist the movement, so I just let it happen. My neck may stay in this awkward position for awhile (30 minutes or more) and then suddenly release and spring up or rotate around to a new position. The first time this occurred I decided to keep meditating until my neck naturally straightened up again. It took hours, but what I experienced was beautiful. When my neck finally straightened up, it did so effortlessly. My head felt weightless! I also experienced a cold, soothing, energy around the base of my neck. I realized that my awareness had to be focused entirely on the energetic Presence around me. If I focused too much on my neck, then I’d lose the effortless posture and have to hold my head up on my own. When I’m aware of the energetic Presence and my body stands tall on its own, it seems that levitation is a real possibility. It seems that my body is defying the laws of gravity.

I am thankful for the progress with my kriya yoga. There were many long times when I diligently practiced without any obvious rewards. There still are many nights and very early mornings where I have to use all my discipline to meditate.  Or times that I wake up meditating because I am so tired. Yet deep down, I know that these times are the most important times. As my will power grows to maintain my kriya practices, I can also see that it is easier and easier to maintain a loving attitude through out the ups and downs of my life. I can see that it is possible to love all beings and all situations. And I can feel that this love occurs as I open for God. It is obvious that all my goals are clearly pointing towards one thing… being with God. OMMMMMMMM:)

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